Wednesday, February 21, 2007


I am just one of the *hoi polloi. I still have to work everyday - gessshhhh

*(common people, the masses)

*** Yeah I didn't have anything good to say. I hope everyone is having a great week!!

Thursday, February 15, 2007

So Tired

I am so tired this week I just can't stand it. We have a 3 day weekend coming up ....Thanks goodness. So much to do.....

This weekend we are going to a hockey game....I haven't been to one since I left my ex. I like hockey really......and we are going with our favorite family so we should have a great time.

I haven't visited....but I hope you are all having a GREAT week and have an even better weekend!!

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Good time was had by all...

Went to the party and had a good time.

It was weird to be with them all again. I love that family. Each and every one of them. I saw his family, including his dad. His dad wants me to bring Steve by for a visit. We all talked about old times and the memories of the good times we had. It was nice. I miss them all.

He was there with his new wife as well. His cousin said to me...
"Are you going to be ok when they get here"
I said "oh yeah, Im fine with it. All I want for him is happiness"
She said "She looks just like you" (she kept saying it all night)

She doesn't look that much like me....well sorta. They look happy. Still deep into their "first" year of marriage. The honeymoon has not ended, and that is good for them. I am truly happy for him and only wish him the best, a lifetime of happiness. I hope that his dreams come true. When I think of him all I feel is love. No resentment, not anger, not loathing...just love. I feel for him what I don't for my ex........Its so weird. He introduced me to his wife and explained how I used to work with his sister and we all used to hang out. I was his cousins roommate etc, etc...the other details don't matter so they are best to be left out. She is from out of town so she doesn't know the history and there is no need to let her hear all the gory details. I have to admit it was hard to look into his eyes.....we shook hands as I left. He and I will always be a mystery to me....I guess some things are never answered.

The slightly uncomfortable times aside I had a great time. It was fun reminiscing with my old friends. I don't think there were hard feelings left over from before. Life just moves on when you go away...people change, everything changes. I probably wont ever send what I wrote but I felt better just getting it off my shoulders. Letting go of my own guilt.

The one friend who invited me wants me to go out with her and a couple of her cousins next weekend. Steve would stay at her house with her kids and her husband. They take turns once in awhile going out. Maybe I will would be fun. Steve and I would stay the night at their house. Steve would love to hang out with her kids. I love that family!! I was in their wedding years ago and I was at the hospital when their first son was born almost 13 years ago.

It was good. Memories .........

Thursday, February 08, 2007


I have been invited to a birthday party on Saturday night....I was caught off guard by the invitation. It came from a very good friend of mine but the party is for her sister. Her sister and I had been friends in that past and had a lot of good times together but things happen and you tend to grow apart.....These friends are cousins of the guy that I will always remember as the one that got away. He is married now for the second time and he and his wife will probably be there too. That does not bother me...what I am wondering is whether the bday girl and the guys brother will accept me as a friend again. Even as an thoughts are stemmed from the guilt of being selfish during the "break up" from that guy...I had to stay away from the whole family....and they never sought me out on their own. I guess its a two way street but I know that at times they felt I left them not him.

This is a first draft of something I would like them to know...

When we are younger many of us take a lot of things for granted, we are selfish to a fault. That was me when we were close. Although you were my friend and I loved every minute I spent with you, I never truly appreciated what you meant to me.

In the passing years, we have grown apart and I have grown as a person. I have learned that in our lifetime we have "angels" that come into our lives as friends and helps us grow into the people that we are supposed to become. They are the people that leave a mark that helps define and guide us through what is to come.

I want you to know that even though we are not close like we used to be and we rarely ever see each other, you have left a wonderful mark in my life. That is something I do and always will cherish.

I am sorry for the times that I was selfish and let you down. I want you to know that those times were about me and were not a reflection on how I felt about you.

I wish you a lifetime of happiness because you deserve the best that life has to offer. I know enough now to realize that life often throws us curve balls along the way that surprise us and often hurt us. I know that you have a wonderful, supportive group of friends and family around you, but please remember that if there is ever a time that you need anything, let me know and I will be there to support you as I should have in the past.

I hope that I am lucky enough that our paths cross again, that this passing "angel" I was lucky enough to have in you, is once again my friend.

Wednesday, February 07, 2007

Busy, Busy, Busy...

Boy are we busy at work....its like the faucet got turned on and here we go...running and running.

We are working on testing and implementing a new software version of our main system.
We are also learning, setting up, testing, developing and delivering training on a new interface to that system.
We are also supporting another smaller system on day to day operations.
The other smaller system has two other "plug in" apps that need to be tested, learned and training developed and delivered for them.
This same smaller system also has a new interface to another smaller system that needs to be set up and tested.
This same smaller system has another interface to our main system that has a new interface to it that needs to be tested and users need to be trained on it.
Then there is another new application being deployed to one of our departments that Kelly and I are supporting. At this time we are acting as participants in the testing efforts, but in the end we will be the technical support...(note to self: learn new system so that we can support it.)

These projects all have due dates that are all between now and the end of April.....

All that on top of other projects that are on ongoing status for both of us......
Besides just the standard day to issues that come up.

I am not complaining..its job security and I have worked at a place where I was afraid I would be one of the ones let go at each reporting quarter because we all knew things were not good.

I just wanted to outline it and make sure I had it all straight......mmmmm...I am not panicked ...really....Kelly may just want to kick me to the proverbial curb by the time we are done with all this....Lets all hope not 8)

On a less stressed note.....tomorrow I am going on a school field trip with Steve...I am so excited and so is he. It should be a lot of fun. (I can leave the work at work and have fun with my son....again Friday Kelly may want to knock me out as my stress level returns )

I hope everyone is having a GREAT Week...

Saturday, February 03, 2007


that is what I heard from movie guy....owell

Thursday, February 01, 2007


Thats me...
This week we were working with a consultant/trainer guy. We have implementing a new interface to our system and it adds a whole new layer to what we have to support. That last couple of months have been a whirlwind of bad weather, holiday and setting up and learning this new interface/system.

I feel that I learn pretty quickly. Do I always get things the first way now how. BUT I do get it and learn it and get kinda good at it. But things are happening very quickly right now and its been a little tough keeping up at times. Last week we had a different consultant working with us and teaching us new things. So my brain and I am sure Kelly's feels a bit overloaded at times.

I usually learn by doing. Someone can usually explain thing to me...I get it but it does not sink in until I have to do it. Most of the time I fumble my way through it following what I learned and let it all sink in. When I don't understand something or not sure I understand something or feel like I am hearing something different from what I THOUGHT I understood I ask ALOT of questions......I guess that is pretty annoying to some people. I also get frustrated when I hear something 10 different times and every other time I hear it differently....kind of I ask MORE questions.....oh and I don't hide my frustration very well at all....especially when the person I am asking the question of gets frustrated because I am having to ask the same question again....and then I get even more irritated and see a pattern here right....

Oh yeah and I really don't like being cut off mid question..with an answer that does not even fit the question...

Last year we had a consultant/trainer on site and I don't remember these problems with that one....that one seemed to take all of our questions and confusion with ease.......We were very lucky with that trainer.....

I think I learned alot this week...but I am also confused on some things...I guess I will just have to try and test more to prove or disprove what I think I know...I wont be asking this weeks trainer for guidance unless I have too.....

Kelly was wonderful...she took the whole thing in stride...I was upset and frustrated all day...and I could not hid it at all!! I am so lucky to work with such a wonderful level headed person!! I just love her.

To all those good trainers out there...we are very luck to have you!!! Thanks for respecting my desire to learn and learn completely not just the step by step process and allowing me to question when something does not make sense to me..I am better at supporting my users and our systems when I understand the whats and whys of things that happen.

I hope I am not so harsh with my users when I try to help them.....Gosh I will have to be more conscience of that.....