Thursday, February 08, 2007

Thoughts..

I have been invited to a birthday party on Saturday night....I was caught off guard by the invitation. It came from a very good friend of mine but the party is for her sister. Her sister and I had been friends in that past and had a lot of good times together but things happen and you tend to grow apart.....These friends are cousins of the guy that I will always remember as the one that got away. He is married now for the second time and he and his wife will probably be there too. That does not bother me...what I am wondering is whether the bday girl and the guys brother will accept me as a friend again. Even as an acquaintance....my thoughts are stemmed from the guilt of being selfish during the "break up" from that guy...I had to stay away from the whole family....and they never sought me out on their own. I guess its a two way street but I know that at times they felt I left them not him.

This is a first draft of something I would like them to know...

When we are younger many of us take a lot of things for granted, we are selfish to a fault. That was me when we were close. Although you were my friend and I loved every minute I spent with you, I never truly appreciated what you meant to me.

In the passing years, we have grown apart and I have grown as a person. I have learned that in our lifetime we have "angels" that come into our lives as friends and helps us grow into the people that we are supposed to become. They are the people that leave a mark that helps define and guide us through what is to come.

I want you to know that even though we are not close like we used to be and we rarely ever see each other, you have left a wonderful mark in my life. That is something I do and always will cherish.

I am sorry for the times that I was selfish and let you down. I want you to know that those times were about me and were not a reflection on how I felt about you.

I wish you a lifetime of happiness because you deserve the best that life has to offer. I know enough now to realize that life often throws us curve balls along the way that surprise us and often hurt us. I know that you have a wonderful, supportive group of friends and family around you, but please remember that if there is ever a time that you need anything, let me know and I will be there to support you as I should have in the past.

I hope that I am lucky enough that our paths cross again, that this passing "angel" I was lucky enough to have in you, is once again my friend.