Thursday, May 08, 2008


Communication is important in any relationship. We have all heard that men and women communicate differently and is one reason relationships end.

I always hear jokes about how when a man says he wants to watch the game – it just means he wants to watch the game and women will often think something along the lines that he is unhappy with her or uninterested in her. Women often read between the lines and try interpreting what is being said and many times they are wrong in their interpretation.

Since the BF and I have both been divorced we have both gone through the reflecting to try and see what went wrong, what we could do to improve future relationships. The BF has said that one of his issues is communication and he is working hard to make sure he is clear and that he is also a good listener.

Here is an example ….

Me – I am sorry I did not want to dance tonight I just didn’t feel like it. I really did not like having to say no like 100 times.

BF – I am sorry I didn’t know.

Me – but I said it.

BF – I am still learning your signals.

Me – ok what could I do differently to be clearer?

BF – Well what was your signal?

Me – Well when I said “No, I really don’t want to dance tonight”

BF – ohhh

Granted I generally don’t like to dance because I am too self-conscious and I am working through that slowly. I have danced other times we have gone out but I had a few drinks before hand. On this particular night I had not had a drink in a few hours and was very happy with the conversation and people watching.

But see we are communicating –

Monday, May 05, 2008

Life - Relationships ...Oh my...

What do you do when your new boyfriend

  • is 7 years younger than you
  • tells you he wanted to go out with you 10 years earlier but you would not give him the time of day
  • almost says he bought his new vehicle to fit the new situation
  • likes to give smooches in public
  • has an aunt that went out with your younger brother
  • enjoys spending time with you and your child
  • has only been divorced for almost 5 months
  • has an ex-wife who wants to call and complain because her mother is mad at her over the divorce – she the one who got pregnant with someone other than him
  • is self sufficient with virtually no debt
  • will probably do just about anything for you
  • is the proverbial nice guy

When you

  • feel really weird about being 7 years older
  • remember that 10 years ago but remember liking one of the other younger guys
  • don’t want the car you have
  • feel funny but PDA
  • didn’t even know that your brother was seeing anyone at the time
  • have a child that adores him
  • have been on your own for 4 years
  • has an ex-husband that will be in the picture forever
  • still has a huge student loan and recovering credit
  • feel you are too selfish currently state to deserve such attention but can’t seem to shake it at times
  • are trying to enjoy the nice guy and not second guess it

I guess you try to get over the little stuff and enjoy the good stuff. It’ll be 6 months at the end of this month – things are going well.

I enjoy it when he is around but I also enjoy my own time and my own space. There are still things that I like to do or don’t do but don’t feel comfortable doing when he is around – stupid stuff but my stuff all the same.