8 days....

And then it starts. I am more nervous about the total social aspect of all this.  I am sure I will cry a lot. I don't know anyone that has breast cancer....I have known a couple of people that had it, had treatment and surgery but no one that has it or has died from it. 

Here I am going to try and do something positive and something positive for myself as well.  Getting out there and totally doing something by myself. 

I earned all of the money I needed with donations and sales....mostly sales.  My mom was surprised that I did not get more donations from our family and some of my friends..I am not...for several different reasons.  There is a reason I was looking for other ways to earn the money...my ability to inspire people for something is not very high.

I have been down on myself again....I can't keep a clean house...and I get angry because no one else in the house seems to care and/or help...why should I care...If I do it there isnt anyone to appreciate it and I am just so tired and worn out it really doesn't do anything for me either....

I keep looking for something to tell me why I am on this earth...I will keep looking and searching with my mind open to find what all of this is supposed to be about...all I see is a bunch of people wanting to spew their adgenda and their version of the truth and condem others for their version of the truth. 

Can't we all just get along and not "hate" others so much, agree to disagree....I say this as we look to get into another war with a country that is just destroying themselves from the inside out.  Sad...it is all very sad.

14 days...

I am $16 away from my goal - I think I can handle that.  I am doing a sale tomorrow since I have earned most of the $2300 in donations by selling Italian charms that I bought and lanyards that I made - I will be doing one more sale tomorrow to earn the rest of my goal and maybe some extra above the minimum goal.

This Sunday I plan on doing a 20 mile walk...I will do it on the treadmill and take my breaks to work around the house - that is the best way for me to get things done and still get some training in.

2 weeks...wow it is almost here.

17 days left...

Until I start walking and try to walk 60 miles in 3 days.  I am $136 away from my goal of raising $2300 - which is what is required to walk. I will close out my fundraising account next week and pay out what is needed to particpate.  I will be doing a sale this weekend since most of the money I have raised by selling Italian charms and hand made lanyards...a little more to go.

Its been a good summer in a lot of ways and then challenging in others.

One of my cousins has been staying with us because he has not had any other place to live...it has been 10 weeks now...this is week 11 and it feels like forever...

When you are staying at someone's house because you have no where else to go and need some help would you not want to  help around that house or AT LEAST clean up after yourself...the people that you are staying with, that you are receiving help from should not have to clean up after you...they are already doing you a favor...its bad because at this point I can hardly even look at him because I feel like he has taken advantage of us.  He is working and he can't even take out the garbage when it is full, he does not buy his own shower gel and shampoo.  ARGGHHH He is worse than my 13 year old boy about his bathroom usage.  I work full time and I am the one that cleans our house and does our laundry I should not have to put his stuff away or clean off his pee from the toilet when I need to use it.....

Anyway it does not pay to help others out sometimes....I would be happy to have him stay as long as he needed if he just cleaned up after himself and did not leave his stuff laying all over the house and pee on the toilet see or borrow more money from me with a lie...That is the big one...borrowing money from me when we are alreadying providing him with a place to stay and tell me it is so he can get his own place and he will pay me back on x day and he doesn't move out and he doesn't pay me back and he doesn't even acknowledge that what he said was going to happen did not...

Life is full of challenges but you have to help yourself before you expect help from others...