8 days....

And then it starts. I am more nervous about the total social aspect of all this.  I am sure I will cry a lot. I don't know anyone that has breast cancer....I have known a couple of people that had it, had treatment and surgery but no one that has it or has died from it. 

Here I am going to try and do something positive and something positive for myself as well.  Getting out there and totally doing something by myself. 

I earned all of the money I needed with donations and sales....mostly sales.  My mom was surprised that I did not get more donations from our family and some of my friends..I am not...for several different reasons.  There is a reason I was looking for other ways to earn the money...my ability to inspire people for something is not very high.

I have been down on myself again....I can't keep a clean house...and I get angry because no one else in the house seems to care and/or help...why should I care...If I do it there isnt anyone to appreciate it and I am just so tired and worn out it really doesn't do anything for me either....

I keep looking for something to tell me why I am on this earth...I will keep looking and searching with my mind open to find what all of this is supposed to be about...all I see is a bunch of people wanting to spew their adgenda and their version of the truth and condem others for their version of the truth. 

Can't we all just get along and not "hate" others so much, agree to disagree....I say this as we look to get into another war with a country that is just destroying themselves from the inside out.  Sad...it is all very sad.