So far,,,

I am not at all impressed with the Little League organization that Steve will be playing with this year. We went to a clinic for the coaches and kids today. Steve was shy of course..he is my kid. He did not want to participate. There was no such thing as organization. I had to sign him up a couple of weeks ago but they did not even ask the kid's names or if they had played before or anything. I walked out to the field with Steve but that did not last long...we left the field and no one even said boo to us.

My kid is shy...very shy like me....I hate that he is so shy because I am so afraid he is going to miss out on things because of "fear"....I am trying so hard to get us out and about...involved in things, meeting new people..its not easy for me that is for sure. If one of the men that were there to coach or run the clinic would have said "hi whats your name? dont you want to play" he would have been out there..shy or not..he would have felt like someone wanted him there.

It made me feel angry and sad....Next week there is another clinic put on by the high school...I am hoping that one is better...we shall see.

It might have been different if he had played last year...but I was just starting a new job, he was starting a new daycare, we were moving to a new home...there was so much going on...it was all I could do to keep up and keep moving each day..this year is better and it will continue to be better for both of us..this is just one piece of it.

Anyway...Our mid winter break is over its time to go back to work and school for us. It was a good week. I did work one day but the rest of the time was ours. Steve had a great week...hopefully going back to school will be ok and he will continue on this path of feeling and being good. He has been happy....and not so angry.

I hope everyone has a great week.

Kids and their words

So we are at the Science center and Steve starts laughing hysterically…

I say smiling “What is so funny”

He says laughing and not talking quietly “Mom...you know that lady.” as he turns and points..”she just burped. She burped out her booty”

Steve continues before I have a chance to respond...laughing some more “mom did you hear it….She did…I heard her. She burped out her booty”

Hmmmm well I could see the snickering around us…and then the poor lady’s face turn red...and I was right there with her.

There is no discretion with kids around.

OK So here is the deal

So lately....the last week or so...I am feeling like I might be ready to DD... ok I can say it...I might be ready to consider the idea of dating...

Couple of problems I see...

Not much in the way of prospects...
No real chance to obtain prospects....
I don't know when I will have time...I don't like to leave my son..

So maybe I am not really ready huh??

The only two men I talk to other than family and work related people are my neighbor and Steve's friends dad.

Now I am or I think I might be interested in my neighbor. But I don't know what to do or know if I should do anything......

We talk whenever we are both outside...he is quiet and seems very nice. Part of me thinks he too might be interested but then the other part says if he was interested he would say something or something.....

Owell that is what is filling my head right now...mmmmmmmm

Recent emails

Well it looks like I am going to be rolling in some serious money pretty soon...

According to some recent email I have received the following will be occurring for me soon

1. I have been adopted as the next of kin for a poor deceased person worth 30 million dollars in which I will receive 40%

2. A prince has contacted me...NOT ONCE but TWICE and wants to just hand over 9 million dollars to me.....gee I wonder if he saw my picture on Myspace and decided I was in desperate need of some money for a complete cosmetic makeover...the idea of being given this kind of money is just so unexpected...by a prince no less.

3. Because I own a home I am guaranteed a LOAN that will reduce my monthly payment by 50%...boy they must not have gotten the memo that I "gave" my home to my ex husband and he sold it....

4. I won the LOTTERY worth 820 thousand from NOTTINGHAM. The funds will be direct deposited to my account from a bank in Africa

5. 30% of a 20 million dollar inheritance is mine if I just act as the benefactor as long as I don't tell the identity of the person I a working with...they are a very honest and trustworthy person...they said so in the email.

6. Approved for another loan on the home I no longer own...neither does my ex.

7. If I can be trusted I can obtain 30% of an inheritance...I guess my friends promised that I would send $1000 dollars to secure the transaction. Unfortunately I have not done so and I am being given a second chance to respond with the money and get my share of the inheritance. Whew...lucky me. I almost lost out on that one.

8. Oh..all my debt can go away if I JUST would get off my butt and get the pre-qualified loan on that home I no longer own.

9. My monthly mortgage payment can be cut in 1/2 if I would just act now.

10. Hundreds of dollars would be saved...I am already pre-approved on that home refinance loan....What am I thinking? What am I waiting for?

11. Maria Schranner a property magnate from Germany has died and since we had dealings with each other in the past (past life maybe) she left me some money in her will.

12. I am sad to say that Raymond Beck died in 1999 and left 25 million dollars unclaimed. I am to receive 35% of it if I act as next of kin.

13. I could receive 30% of a 15 million dollar inheritance for the death of Steve Moore who died in 2001.


OHhhh...I guess I should not have provided all my information??? Maybe I wont be getting all that money...Oh...no.....I just got another email from the Nigera AntiFraud Commission. They will fix it all if I send them my vital information

From email----Natural Highs...

These are good...and so true.

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one .
. .


It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end
#45.


1. Falling in love.

2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.

3. A hot shower.

4. No lines at the supermarket.

5. A special glance.

6. Getting mail.

7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.

8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.

9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.

10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.

11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).

12. A bubble bath.

13. Giggling.

14. A good conversation.

15. The beach

16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.

17. Laughing at yourself.

18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you

19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.

20. Running through sprinklers.

21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.

22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.

23. Laughing at an inside joke

24. Friends.

25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about
you.

26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to
sleep.

27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new
partner).

28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.

29. Playing with a new puppy.

30. Having someone play with your hair.

31. Sweet dreams.

32. Hot chocolate.

33. Road trips with friends.

34. Swinging on swings.

35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.

36. Making chocolate chip cookies.

37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.

38. Holding hands with someone you care about.

39. Running into an old friend and realizing
that some things (good or bad) never change.

40. Watching the ________expression on someone's face
as they open a much desired present from you.

41. Watching the sunrise.

42. Getting out of bed every morning and
being grateful for another beautiful day.

43 Knowing that somebody misses you.

44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.

45. Knowing you've done the right thing,
no matter what other people think.

Not Much...

Kinda sad...I don't have much to say lately....there is a lot going on but its not interesting so I have been quiet.

I might have to start talking about me and my life issues again...why not huh this is all about me anyway.

I enjoy this and visiting everyone. Its pretty cool to visit, leave comments and have you all visit me. I just wish I could be funny and interesting...hmmmm owell I guess it will come someday 8)

Thanks for visting!!!

1st Reaction

FIRST REACTION to these 34 words:

1. I need: more time
2. Sex : I forgot
3. Relationships : scary
4. Your Last Ex : son's dad ex husband
5. Power : energy
6. Marijuana: nope
7. Crack: window
8. Food: too much
9. The President : scary
10. War : death
11. Cars : expensive
12. Gas Prices : high
13. Halloween:candy
14. politics:not interested
15. Religion : spiritual
16. MySpace: ok so far
17. Worst Fear: being alone
18. Marriage : can be good..but not mine
19. Fashion : too complicated
20. Brunettes : me
21. Redheads : fun
22. Blondes: beautiful
22: Work : like it right now anyway
23: Pass the time : hang with my son
24: Football : ok
25. One night stands: in the past
26: Pet Peeve: calling me all the time
27: Pixie Stix : sugar
28: Vanilla Ice : Cream
29: Porta Potties : gross
30: High school : thank goodness its over
31: Pajamas : sleepy
32. Wood : fire
33. Surfers : ocean
34. Pictures :never enough

Another week another...tidbit 8)

WOW...

I can not believe another week has slipped by me. It never seems to stop amazing me how time just keeps going and never slows down.

VALENTINES DAY
Was just another day...EXCEPT for the roses I got from my wonderful friend at work!! It was so sweet. The last time I got roses was my first wedding anniversary. It was very nice to get these that day.

WORK
This week has been quite a challenge. We installed another update to our test system and found all kinds of problems. Its kind of funny when I am troubleshooting problems and find that the vendor changed a table column name and did not change the program to reference the new column. Then another problem in two different programs that I found were referencing non existent columns in tables. Funny huh.

We have been testing two different software packages this week from different vendors and we are troubleshooting and finding the problems but we can not tell the vendor because then our support agreement would be voided.....hmmm frustrating when we know the answers.

STEVE
This week he told me that sometimes he gets mad at me because we don't live with his daddy. He has had some issues at school this week. It drains me. I have been thinking a lot about my leaving his dad, playing it all back in my head..the 6 years we spent together....I know I did the right thing but I have to replay it all over and over again. I hate that my son hurts. But I know he hurts less than he would have had we stayed.

EMAIL

I emailed a friend asked if they were still breathing....haven't heard...ohoh..maybe their not still breathing--Not really but you know.

Ever send an email and say "let me know if you don't get this"....I have....I mean DUH.

YOU KNOW YOUR IN SEATTLE WHEN
When its 26 degrees and people are eating their lunch outside just to enjoy the sun...YUP that was me and my friend today.

NEXT WEEK
is mid-winter break. I took most of the week off. I think Steve and I are going to go to the Science museum and the aquarium. We are very excited!!

TAXES
I got my tax return back....WOHOOOO

anyway..before I bore you all ....I will try to come up with something interesting to post...HAVE A GREAT WEEKEND!!!

Not so anonymous

Valentines are supposed to be anonymous...but because everything is so commercialized its not.

Women (me included) usually expect so much out of "Valentine's day" from our mate that we usually end up sadly disappointed or just plain mad....Why? Well most men see it as just another day...and because of all the commercialization...rush out at the last minute just to try and get "something" to show their "love" .....They either spend lost of money making shop owners delighted at the end of the day; or are quick to pick up flowers and a card or whatever other small trinket is available at the local grocery store that the woman in their life feels like an after thought..and in all actuality the man in their life is probably just busy working all day long and not able to get away to get that perfect gift that should really be reserved for the couples anniversary or the woman's birthday.

Ok...I just had to get that out..... It is just another day.... Show those you love that you love them each day by appreciating them and respecting them.

Singing in the rain...

That is what we were doing today. My friend and I went on a great walk during lunch. We found a trail near our office that went through a wooded area with a couple of "streams" running...it was like we were really in the woods not minutes from our office. It was great......then it started to rain, hail...at one point on our way back to the office we went into another wooded area and it sounded and felt like the hail/rain stopped...until we went back out into the open area...and it rained harder. We ended up getting very wet and looked like drowned rats walking back inside. Owell...it was a great walk and we will be doing that more and more.

Valentines day is tomorrow...My valentine is Steve. We are going to celebrate Nick's Birthday; maybe go out to dinner; have a couple of cupcakes for desert....Other than that we will both be busy at our respective day homes.

Steve is busy creating his valentines cards for his friends. He is very carefully picking out the perfect dinosaur card for each of his friends, writing each one and carefully picking out the heart sticker to go with each one. The color of the heart and the dinosaur on the card is very important. I remember being a kid in school and being boy crazy...looking at each card I got and who it came from....looking for that special meaning that the card portrayed. Kind of funny now watching him carefully picking out and preparing each one. 19 of them...this may take all night.

We have said that valentines is for people that we care about...our friends, teachers, and family. Not just people we love but people we like...because we think that they are special. I like that......Steve told me today that he gave his teacher the heart ring off of yesterday's cup cake not because he loves her but because she is special to him.

Our office is having a Valentine's coffee and I am making "Devil Made me do it" eggs...should be interesting. We will be having a game of "Sweetheart Charades" and chocolate around the room.

I hope you all have a great day...remember its not just about love....its about special people we care about!!

Zoo

Steve and I had a great time at the zoo. The weather was perfect the animals were out; it was perfect. There were some exhibits that were closed for the season; Steve and I said that they were on vacation.

The entire weeked was a great one. Steve and I played outside. I took a nap while Steve played his leapster games; he worked on his "art" and we read books.

It is supposed to get cold during the week maybe even snow....yeah we'll see.

I hope everyone has a great week!!

This weeks..tidbits

MONDAY
Oh I just wanted to stay home. It had taken us 1 hour and 1/2 to drive home after the Superbowl event at my cousin's house and it should have taken half that. The Superbowl was kinda depressing.....the bad calls and the way the Seahawks kind of let it slip by them in the second half. Steve wanted to stay home too. He has been fighting off a nasty cold and woke up grumpy and argumentative just wanting to stay home with me. Well then all of a sudden he changed his mind and was ready to go. Traffic was awful but luckily we were on time for school. He probably could have stayed home that day...its a fine line on when they are not feeling well enough to stay home or they just need to go to school. He would stay home everyday if he could.

STEVE
This week has been a little better as far as the temper tantrums go.....The biggest issues have been from the time that I pick him up from day care and we drive home..thats when he gets angry at me, kicks, yells and hits.....He says that it just makes him angry when I say things wrong and when I don't understand right away when he is saying....mmmmmmm.

We got him signed up for T-Ball last night. That should be fun. He could have played last year..but I did not get any information on it and was very busy starting a new job and a new life. He will have fun this year.

FRUSTRATIONS
A problem was reported to me about how a report was being calculated at work. After doing some testing and investigation it looked pretty straight forward as to what might be the problem. There are two ways to run the exact same report and one way the totals come out correct and the other the totals are different but the data is the same in both cases. I reported this to our software vendor and have yet to get an answer to any of the questions that I have asked. I could debug the problem..it takes me longer because I don't know the software like they do of course...but the questions I ask are not being answered and instead I am getting questioned about how I am running the two versions of the report.....and I have already provided them all that information. I think it is a personality conflict with this one support person. And that is hard for me to handle because I usually get along with people without such issues......Now he wants to "debug" on our production system without first answering my design questions.....it is so frustrating that I will probably look through the system till I find the answers to my question between tonight and tomorrow night and continue till I find the problem myself.

WHY WONT PEOPLE TALK
I have seen it in every professional situation that I have been in...departments don't talk, don't collaborate, don't work together.....why? Its seems like they are afraid that the other department will make them obsolete...which to me is ridiculous. If we all just work together and collaborate we can get better results, better answers. I know I can't think of everything that there is to think about in a situation....I will never have enough experience for that....I need to work with others. I did not like it when in school they forced us to do group work...but I did learn that it is important and you do get better results in the end.

FUNNY THING WAS SAID
George from ABC software has an idea on how these two packages can talk to each other
Stuart from electronics department has an idea how these two packages can talk to each other.....get them together and we'll get a big pile of crap....

Oh does that kind of contradict what I just said...the other problem is not including all the right people....like the people that have to end up supporting the project in the end.

KINDA SCARY
They found the body of a missing woman no far from my home. Within the area I grew up in...they area I always felt safe in. We probably had party in the wooded area she was found in some upteen years ago....its sad how things change...how the more people we cram into areas the more violence, drugs, and overall crime happen. When I was in highschool and then again several years later I saw drugs pass through this area like a wave.....taking out some very good people.....People change and in most cases life circumstances have everything to do with it....drugs destroyed some people I knew and some people I loved.......

J HAD HIS BABY
The baby was born...I found his picture on the hospital web site last week. His girlfriend emailed me....but none of us have heard from him. We love him and it makes us sad.

WEATHER
It has been gorgeous here.....Cold but beautiful. It did rain one morning but by lunch time it was perfect for a walk. My friend and I walked everyday this week. I loved it. The sun was bright and you could feel its warmth through the crisp air. I knew I loved it here!!!

ZOO
Steve and I got a year pass to the ZOO for Christmas. Because of the weather we have not been able to go yet....tomorrow we are going. WE are so excited...like Steve says ...we can go whenever we want to!!!

ME
I have been so tired for the last couple of weeks I can't stand it. I have been eatihg right, exercising....my energy level is supposed to be increasing but lately I have been tired and when I am tired I am hungry and its hard to fight that off. My body is sore and its not like I am over-doing it with the exercising. In fact I have slowed my pace thinking that is why I am so tired. Hopefully...this too shall pass. But I did get my hair cut.... finally its only been like 3 months. Not too short either....


Its been a really quiet week but I have enjoyed it. I love my job and I love going to work...and I love it even more because I have a wonderful friend to share my day with while I am there. Like she said yesterday, we are very lucky....sometimes we forget how lucky we are....but that too is human nature....when you get reminded of that..cherish it and those forgetful times for most of us are few and far between. dont beat yourself up about those.....because they are human nature.

HAVE A WONDERFUL WEEKEND and a WONDERFUL WEEK

Steve's Perspective

Steve: "Mom the Seahawks lost the superbowl right"

Me: "yes they did"

Steve: "Yeah that made us sad huh"

Me: "yeah"

Steve: "The Steelers won, right mom"

Me: "Yes they did"

Steve: "Mom if they are stealers shouldn't they be in jail?...."

Casino Night

CASINO NIGHT...

We had a great time. My friend Lynn had invited a guy friend of hers and his friend and I had thought that she invited them because she was interested in her guy friend. What I found out Saturday night was that she had invited him for me..and he was bringing a friend for her. Ok so I was none to excited about that. But I did not let on and I did not say a thing...Good thing was that supposedly his friend flaked and he did not want to show up on his own. PERFECT...I was way ok with that.

Neither one of us had been to the casino before so we were both newbies. She is a blond with blue eyes..cute lady....me I am average...with dark hair. She is outgoing...me...not so much. It was actually a perfect match up. She did some gambling and I watched. Maybe if we go back a few times I will try my hand at it but this time it was just as fun watching.

We went to the club where they had two different cover bands playing that night and they were really good. The first hour or so we sat there and talked about everyone in the room...being totally shallow but having a great time. I think I had maybe on full beer all night and I still was not all freaked out by what people MIGHT be thinking about me. A couple times a feeling of uncomfortable crept inside and then it was gone. We danced with each other...she danced with a couple of guys...I finally danced with one guy but only after he asked me 5 times. I would have liked this other guy to ask me to dance but after I danced with the first guy...he leeched on and well I don't know if the other guy would have ever asked but he never got a chance and neither did I. I did get asked several times if I "DATE"...I said no I don't date I am not ready to date. But I can say I had a great time and will go out again...once a month.

The guy I did dance with gave me his number....just as friends because we had such a good time that night....well for the 3 minute dance and the 20 minutes of conversation after that...I guess it was ok...but not "great" like he felt it was. He was even suggesting we spend Valentines day together. Ok so there is one reason I don't date...why is it that if your nice to someone they instantly think your the one. I tried the blind date thing once....we talked on the phone for a couple of weeks and then we were going to meet....the week before we were to meet he started calling 4-5 times a day...he was talking about how his new job was a great one and that now we both had good jobs...to secure our future. He said that now he had his daughter and me to think about....WOW...I had to cancel and he was none tooo happy about it.

Anyway...I really did have a good time and will do it again.

I am glad blogger is back!! I will visit you all again soon..since all my responses disappeared this weekend.

Have a GREAT week.

I believe

I posted this on Friday...Saturday...now today...if it does not stay today..I will forget it...More on the rest of the weekend later tonight..

I believe in angels,
the kind that heaven sends,
I'm always surrounded by angels,
better known as friends!
Unknown

I like this quote, but I believe that our friends are those people that we’re are matched up with to provide mutual support of each other during everyday life. While the “angels” that come into our lives are the ones that could be our friends but because of life situations and events we only encounter them for short periods of time……These people seem to come into our lives when we least expect it and when we need it the most because we are at a crossroads or at a turning point. They are that little extra nudge or push to keep us going on the right track.

Usually, I think, these people don’t even realize what they have provided to us…they are just living their life and the way that they do it and share with us at the time that we encounter them is what has such an influence on us. They are people that encourage us and provide us with hope by just being them and being open about who they are.

I recently met someone like that and it happened at a time when I told myself “OK this is it….You need to get off your butt and start on becoming the person you want to be and stop making excuses?”

I have wonderful support day in and day out by some very special friends and my family and I don’t discount that at all. But this person just provided that little extra spotlight to help me say ok “KEEP going…KEEP working on it….KEEP moving forward, because there is more….there is more out there”. I know these things…my friends and family remind me of this….but sometimes I think everyone of us just need that extra something that resonates in us brought out by someone or something else.

I don’t expect to see this person again anytime soon but I will remember that person and the things that made me think. I will keep reminding myself of what I learned because it is important and I don’t want to take it for granted that I will “learn” it again.

Our friends are those that we are lucky enough to hold onto….our “angels” are those that we are lucky enough to bump into…to my most recent “angel” I would like to say THANK YOU ...but then they would probably just think I was crazy…..I just hope they know that they are special. I wish them the best of luck.

trying again...

I have had some problems on old blogger....I posted one thing 3 times and it goes away...then I posted one other thing and it went away.
Now I am trying this...wont spend much time on it in case it goes away too.

I can post..and act like I am going to comment and it looks good then when I come back later its gone...someone trying to tell me something?

Anyway..short...went to the casino...had a great time. More on that later.

Gotta get some sleep. Steve wakes up early!!!

Who said that?

I know who said the first part...Franklin D. Roosevelt...

"There is nothing to fear, but fear itself...it's just life"

Today...

The voices got the better of me and I ate that loud chocolate peanut butter chip cookie that just refused to shut up...and it was pretty good.

Went to Costco today...it never fails...I still can't get out of there for under $100 dollars. The oranges put me over.

I talked to my mom about watching Steve on Saturday so I could go to the Casino...well that might put a damper on her night out..I mean with Avon Saturday morning and the SuperBowl on Sunday that leaves only Saturday night for the Casino for her and my dad...I love em....but they go EVERY weekend.....and sometimes during the week....so I don't see the big deal with skipping a weekend..but they might not be able to handle it...Owell...I should not complain. shhh dont tell and no one will know.

The lady that invited me to go to the Casino with her just emailed me to let me know that she invited two men to go with us....mmmmm maybe its better that mom and dad dont want to stay home that night. I mean if you haven't noticed the whole dating thing is not really something I look forward to and getting put into a situation that feels like a setup...like it even less. Owell.

Over think much....Someone told me, just today actually...that sometimes you just need to do it...and NO not that "it" but the "something it" without thinking all about it first...like going out with this lady and her guy friends.... Owell I need to have a babysitter before I can do anything...so I am not going to think about ANY of IT.