still...

I still don't know what to do...or I do and don't want to do it. I feel like a failure again. I feel like I did all wrong again. The more I try to find out if he loves me the more I push him away.

I should not have to find out if he loves me I should just know.

He talks to his ex wife...she cheated on him and he still needs to talk to her. I did not know they were talking but then I found out....

I would not feel so bad about it if he had been honest with me but since he is hiding it...it is wrong.

it just keeps getting worse and worse and I knew it would...