Why...

I spent 3 years spilling my guts....sharing everything and believing that this man respected me and loved me and wanted to be with me even with all my issues and my feelings about alcohol...

The reality is he never heard anything I said and kind of threw it all in my face and I let him....

I am not a victim I am the creation of my own faults that I don't learn from. I thought I was changing but apparently there are still things broken because I feel into this situation.

If you have an instinct a feeling a doubt...anything that something is not right...believe it and do what you need to do to protect yourself against it because the only person you can count on is yourself. BELIEVE IN YOURSELF and save yourself from these situations.