Life as it is...very busy...June already???

Hi all. I am fine. Here I am to tell my story as it is. It really is not that interesting and I am sure it is like many others but I am here to tell it anyway. I believe that those who do not want to read know how to move to the next web page for their viewing pleasure.

February 21 was my last post...it’s been awhile. It seems almost like yesterday in the length of time although a lot has been going on but it is basically just life.

Steve is now a year older, he is almost done with another season of baseball and cub scouts is our new favorite past time.

Right after my last post my personal lap top died - it’s probably a hardware problem but I don't have the expertise to know for sure at this point and I haven't had the time to or the energy to learn. I have a desktop but I don’t have a good chair to sit at the desk. I also have my work laptop but I tend to feel compelled to actual work when I bring that out.

My mom is now a happy user of the computer and internet and I tell you that is no small task. My cousin now has a job interview at Boeing after I helped him with his online resume a couple of times because he could not remember his password. My other cousin has a newly reinstalled computer with all up to date software and virus protection. Oh and the porn I cleaned off my aunts computer is not something I had ever even imaged could happen. I really don't like computers sometimes the tire me.

Steve is almost done with another year of school. My 7 year old is growing up so fast. He is smart, happy, active, pain in the booty, and over all the greatest thing in my life.

I have been fighting this issue with myself not being really "happy". I guess some would call it depression....I call it irrational craziness. Whatever you call it...I have blamed hormones in general. I have been seeing my counselor, went to a natural path, and finally succumbed to some medication. It has not been serious and I know when I am being irrational but there are times that I would not want to be around me if I were the ones I love. They claim that it’s not as bad as all that but I don't believe them. Steve doesn’t seem to know the difference so I guess that is a good thing. He loves me and says I am the best mom ever – and everyone says he is just so happy. What more could I ask for right. Its that overwhelmed felling that never seems to go away for longer than a week at a time. So we shall see what happens now.

I spoke up for myself and said that I could not be the Den Leader of our Cub Scout troop, I did not want to take on too much…so instead I am Cub Master. So much for speaking up for myself ;). It hasn’t been too bad since we are the only troop in our den this year anyway. Next year will be a different story.

Work has been kind of crazy. We upgraded to a new version with a new interface for some of our users. Although we loaded it into test 4 months in advance, and tried to learn everything, test everything and help our users learn and test, things did not go as smoothly as I had hoped. The basic issue is that the people that actually use the software day to day to do their job were unable to spend a sufficient amount of time using the new version so that Kelly and I could work through issues that they had and find problems. But the day that they were able to use it in a live situations it was if the sky was falling. We made it through. Hopefully we have learned some things for next year when we introduce the interface a new set of users. The good news is that we have more time to learn their processes and get them to test as well.

I have to say I love my job. The last few months have been trying but overall I love it. I did not like it when Kelly went on vacation. I could have done without that. I mean really how selfish is it of my dear friend to plan a vacation like a year in advance and leave me on my own :) - Really I am just saying ;) – I survived and she had the wonderful time she deserved. But I told her that next time we were going to plan our vacations at the same time. If only that were possible, I am so glad she is back.

I have not received any child support since February. $100 a month is not a lot but it is something.

I have a small vacation coming. I will be taking Steve to visit his dad. Yes it is about that time again. I think we are both more prepared and ok with this visit as we have ever been. I think Steve is at the age where he knows that he is going for a “visit” and he will be back with me. I am not sure he really understood that before. Since he is better with it so am I. I will miss him very much. I will talk to him everyday. When he gets back we will be taking our vacation together. A week just doing what we want to do. I am looking forward to that!!

One of my cousins is going through a separation and divorce. She is fighting her ex a lot. I tried to be there for her in the beginning and I think I was. It got very difficult for me. It was familiar in a way but her way of dealing with things and seeing things is much different than mine and it got difficult for me to be supportive yet honest. She doesn’t like to hear what I have to say. She knows they are my opinions and I try not to shove them down her throat but I guess it might seem like that to her.

Anyway this week is another busy week. Baseball practice, baseball game, cub scouts and work. Sometimes being a single parent is very overwhelming.

I still haven’t dated. I say I don’t have time or the energy but I also haven’t had the opportunity. I think if I did have the opportunity I would probably have a panic attack. Now that is being totally honest.

Anyway, now that things are settled down a bit at work and Steve’s activities are winding down I may have the time and the energy to update this blog as well as visit my dear blog world friends.

I hope you are all well and enjoying this great gift of life that we have!!