Wednesday, June 07, 2006

? Dating ?

I have never gotten the whole dating concept. I have never been very good at it and it really is a game that people play. Those who play well get lots of dates…those who don’t….don’t.

2 years ago my marriage was falling apart at the seams. I was getting ready for a 10 day visit with my family and my husband was getting ready to rendezvous with any woman who would while I was gone….or while he was doing his band thing. I left him 4 months later….. Dating was the farthest thing from my mind.

Although I was not looking for dating I was thinking that Brett and I would hang out and who knows what could happen later. But that did not happen even a little. We did not hang out at all. We talked via email for awhile and that was about it. Fine. The idea kinda freaked me out anyway.

So I kept it pretty low key and then last fall I decided to start looking around and talking to others and try to be more social. I started talking to a guy I met through an online site. We were talking through email first…then the phone and talking about a face 2 face meeting. Next thing I knew he was planning for “OUR” future. I told him that I thought we should hold off on the face 2 face meeting……he got mad and we stopped talking.

Ok so Wow that is kinda un-nerving. So I had a couple of other possible interests….one my neighbor and one of Steve’s friend’s dad. I did not pursue anything; I lived my life and talked to each of them when I see them. Both of these prospects are less than appealing to me at this point.

Then there was another guy I started talking to via email. That one was supposed to be a friend thing…just to hang out. He saw my picture and well That’s all Folks.

Then there was the guy on myspace that contacted me…who I did meet face 2 face. He was very bitter about his soon to be ex wife and I was very involved with Steve….and I did not hear from him anymore.

Then there was another guy that I was emailing on myspace…this one was promising…or so I thought. Mutual interests, mutual backgrounds, saw each others pictures, no rushing things…but we were going to meet face 2 face this weekend….well then I saw a note on his myspace from his sort of relationship….with the L word in it…well that was it for me.

I am talking to another guy. Seems nice enough. Seems really single. Seems interesting. But my fear is that he is smaller than me….I am not really large but I am average…I think he is very slim. It’s a phobia I have about dating someone smaller than me. I am 5’9” and have never been petite…….so it has always been an issue in my mind.

Who knows…..maybe the reality is that I am not ready and this is just the way it am being told…. No big…I would hate to give up what freedom I do have for another scary “relationship” thing.

Stay tuned…I have ideas and thoughts on the whats and whys of each of these occurrences…..


Blogger Michelle said...

I have a gfriend, who would be about 5ft7 and bigger than ave build. For some reason she was always attracted to really tall really thin men. As a couple, they didn't appear to look odd together at all. I asked all the time, why so thin?? Don't you want something to hang on to? She just loved thin men with long hair!! They were her thing LOL.

10:49 PM  
Blogger bryan torre said...

michelle's comment: i think there must be some biological thing going on here. there are a certain number of women who go nuts for guys i think are UG-ly, like Rick Ocasek, Howard Stern, etc.

8:58 PM  
Blogger Alan said...

Bryan's comment: I think it's the fame and fortune factor.

4:28 PM  
Anonymous si said...

alan's comment to bryan's comment: you got it right. bryan & i have had this conversation about ugly, skinny rocker-types and how they seem to attract the really hot chicks (especially models/actresses) -- why?? fame, fortune, *and* power!

hi kylee! thanks for allowing these slightly unrelated comments. i think it's great that you're starting to venture out there. taking it slow & keeping it low-key is good. who knows what will happen from that...

4:31 PM  
Blogger Crystal said...

i know what you mean about the size thing. i am 5'7/150lb. definitely packin a few burgers, and i cannot imagine trying to be intimate with someone who couldn't fling me about the room like a ragdoll during our "session". i think i would also feel a little like Mark Kay Letourneau and that would fag me out and make me feel all kinds of gross. i need A MAN, BABY.

1:58 PM  

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