Wednesday, April 12, 2006


When I left my x husband, leaving him was not was everything and everyone else. I mean he had told me almost 3 years prior that he did not want to be without my mind that was why we were still together anyway. My issues were my son, my step daughters, my sister in law and nephew and my mother in law.

When I look at this woman I swear there is a halo above her. She is an angel in so many ways. I broke down when I saw her the last time....I was on my way home and the feeling of loss was overwhelming. The thought of what she might be thinking about me...the reasons she was told as to why I had left......not having her support and love in my life.....not being able to share Steve with her as a family together.....all that was very hard for me to deal with.

We share emails...back and forth...just about Steve, what he wants for Christmas, for his I post for them to have. There is never a lot of dialog in these emails...and I know why..her baby is my ex husband....she will always be supportive to him that is just who she is.....I know if Steve or even I ever really needed anything she and FIL would be there.....but now it is what it is.

I talked to my x SIL today..I just love her too. One of the last things that I felt cheated about with my x is that we did not get to visit my SIL for her sons first birthday.....He is going to be 4 this year and I haven't seen him since he was 2....she says I will always be her sister xlaw. Our sons look amazingly alike...she says that at times she looks a Lucas and sees Steve...I miss that.

She was telling me that my x FIL is battling two types of cancer right now. Of course I had not been told this before. I knew there were issues but not what they were. MIL had said that there were medical issues...but she did not elaborate. I feel for her and what she must be going through. I wish I could be there to support her. I think I will have Steve make a picture and send them a card...not from me but from him..thinking of Grandparents or something.


Blogger Michelle said...

It's very sad when we break up, we tend to break up the rest of the family too. They seem to have their loyalties, respectfully so. It's a shame they feel they can't have extended conversations with you, perhaps they feel uncomfortable, who knows.
Steve making a card is lovely thoughtful gesture, it will give him pleasure too :o)

3:41 PM  

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