Monday, March 13, 2006

Its all or nothing

Its all or nothing…Why is that? Why do friendships with men and women have to be all or nothing. I am not even talking about my “friend” Brett. I get that because things were more complicated that friendships can not withstand that. Ok FINE. But why is it that if you say “hey next time you are in town we should go to lunch”…is the kiss of death to what could be a friendship?

I signed up on Myspace to get a hold of my cousin. Well he is there and he is my “friend” but he doesn’t respond to email or anything for that matter. Anyway that is beside the point of this post.

What I have found on myspace were some school friends. First from college and then a couple of weeks ago I got a message from a high school friend. This friend was a guy who I went out to lunch with almost daily. It was myself, him and another girlfriend almost everyday for lunch. He lives on the other side of the country so its not like I expected or even thought of getting together. But in one of the many emails we exchanged he said that he has traveled back here to visit family. And me being what I guess is just totally clueless says…oh well have to go grab lunch if you visit again.

Mistake I guess because I have not heard from him again in over a week and before that it was daily. It is like I said “hey your going to come visit? Great lets get married and then you can support me and my kid”

Anyway it got me to thinking about all the other guy friends I have had over the years. Usually I had more guy friends than female…they don’t take my boyfriends. Well that was before I got married but anyway…….

I don’t get why men and women can’t be friends. And at what age does that happen? I mean I used to hang out with guys and have it not be a big deal and not have them think I was trying to tie them down….of course then I would lose them to their girlfriends… just irritates me that it has to be all or nothing. Can’t everyone just relax and be friends?

But then again...the other person that has contacted me via myspace from high school is my high school best friends ex husband. OK now that is weird...I don't want to hang out with him. He is an ok guy and all but...The only reason I knew him was through her and she is still my friend and hanging out with her ex husband is not even something I slightly think is right or fun.....again another complication. No wonder I have stayed in my own little world and not explored many darn complications.

Ok I am done now......


Blogger Sometimes Saintly Nick said...

I wish I had some real, commonsense answers for you, but I don’t. Your questions echo my own. For example, why is it that some of the women with whom I am a “friend” want more than friendship while the one “friend” with whom I am in love keeps reminding me that we are “just friends?” I agree: life is darned complicated!

5:58 PM  
Blogger bryan torre said...

it might not be about your lunch invitation either. just saying.
or it could be about that, but it's the opposite: he wanted you to say "let's date" and when you just said "let's have lunch" he was disappointed. i'm not saying i think that's it, i'm just saying sometimes people (especially women) tend to read more into things than there are. maybe he just got really busy or went fishing or something... :-)

12:41 PM  
Blogger Kylee said...

Nick; sometimes the frustration is crazy huh.

So Bryan what exactly are you saying?

I know I know we take things the wrong way sometimes...but usually I have a pretty good instinct about these things....I could really care less if I ever hear from him again, I mean I almost could not remember him in the first place...its just the point of it all. I know I know..get over it already 8)

6:44 PM  

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