tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-197097942024-03-13T07:30:09.350-07:00Forever HumbleLearning life's lessons one day at a time...Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.comBlogger262125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-81406918040073274112021-01-27T20:17:00.001-08:002021-01-27T20:17:56.933-08:00I don't understandI don't understand what's going on in the United States. <div><br></div><div>I don't understand what is happening with people I know. </div><div><br></div><div>There is so much polorization in each and everyday with politics, pandemic response, climate concerns and race relations. </div><div><br></div><div>Everything feels like it has to be this way not that way and there is no inbetween. </div><div><br></div><div>The reality is that things are not that straight forward. </div><div><br></div><div>We are stronger and will find better solutions if we work together and color outside of the proverbial lines.</div>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-48146731610296434292021-01-07T21:45:00.001-08:002021-01-07T21:45:27.534-08:00You have to ask..When people are fighting back and forth all the time you have to wonder if what they are fighting about is worth it and real.<div><br></div><div>The person that was shot and died at the United States capital yesterday may have previously been considered one of Americans heros, as a veteran of our armed services. But she was shot and died from her injuries after breaking into the nations capital building and trying to get into the House floor. </div><div><br></div><div>She had to have believed with her whole being that she was doing the right thing. How else does someone who risked her life to protect our country end up participating and losing her life illegally storming the nations capital.</div><div><br></div><div>How do we heal from that level of belief that our government and governmental processes are broken and fraudulent?</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-59358140352662504612021-01-06T21:06:00.001-08:002021-01-07T20:57:11.277-08:00A day like no other...This day will go down in history. <div><br></div><div>It was a sad and scary day. </div><div><br></div><div>It should be remembered that peaceful protest is an American right.</div><div><br></div><div>When someone crosses the line from peaceful protest to self instigated destruction and violence it is imperative for peaceful protesters to disperse or stop those performing this behavior. If they don't, their fight is diminished and will not be taken seriously. </div><div><br></div><div>To excuse or encourage destruction and violence from one group just because another group has been accused of the same does not solve anything and does not make it ok. Providing justification for such behavior just encourages more of this type of behavior. </div><div><br></div><div>Extreme groups on all sides that encourage and encite destruction and violence should be fully condemned. The leader of the United States should never encourage or entice destruction and violence against anyone, especially anyone within our own country.</div><div><br></div><div>#MyOpinion</div><div><br></div>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-84779309197300588222021-01-05T21:04:00.001-08:002021-01-05T21:04:51.194-08:00Communication is keyThere is a lot going on these days and there is a lot to consider as we move about our day.<div><br></div><div>One thing to remember, when working others, is that just because someone is not responding to your requests as you would like don't assume it is because they don't care. </div><div><br></div><div>If we had more conversations we might find that there are things that we don't know about that warrent careful consideration before acting. </div><div><br></div><div>There might be things unseen that the other person is working on that need the attention because it supports a more immediate need. </div><div><br></div><div>Don't assume people don't care just because they don't bend to your wim. đź’™</div>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-19382233971736826132021-01-04T21:06:00.000-08:002021-01-04T21:06:01.754-08:00Criticism reminder<p dir="ltr">Criticism of others is generally a reflection of thoughts about oneself. </p><p dir="ltr">The next time you criticize someone or think of a criticism regarding someone else; stop and think about how that criticism could be applied to yourself. </p><p dir="ltr">Try to take some time to think about whether or not if that thought is really true, is it really true about the person you are directing it to or maybe can it be redirected to yourself?</p><p dir="ltr">Sometimes taking some extra time to self reflect you can learn something about yourself, clear the 'air' with yourself, end up being a less critical and happy person.</p>
Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-66597866048346520952021-01-03T18:41:00.001-08:002021-01-03T18:41:20.669-08:00It is PossibleIt is possible to have a conversation and/or debate with someone you disagree with and show respect to each other. <div><br></div><div>We don't all have to agree with each other all the time. What makes life interesting is all of our differences. Our differences do not make you wrong or me wrong. Our difference of opinion can make us stronger together but we need to be open to hear and discuss things together. Our own personal stories help us define our opinions and our stories are real and matter.</div><div><br></div><div>Be open to the idea that someone else's opinion might have some "truth" to it and it does not make you wrong.</div><div><br></div><div><br></div>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-48740012008090877762021-01-02T17:18:00.001-08:002021-01-02T17:18:03.814-08:00Today is day 2Today is day 2 of a new year with an opportunity to make it better.<div><br></div><div>I tend to read and listen to all sides of the pandemic and political spectrum and I find it very interesting that it seems like there is no longer a middle ground it is you either agree or you do not. On social media in the comments there are extremes in agreement of the topic or a clear disagreement without any logical discussion or debate. I don't understand the hate filled comments instead of respectful dialog debating one point or another.</div><div><br></div><div>My goal is not to participate in those types of exchanges. I trust that I can share #MyOpinion without disrespect to those with differing opinions. </div><div><br></div><div>We get to choose our actions and reactions. Would you want to receive the reactions or actions you present? </div>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-43283234574870994192021-01-01T15:43:00.001-08:002021-01-01T15:43:23.134-08:00January 1st 2021Well day 1 of the new year, hoping to make better choices.<div><br></div><div>Our moment by moment choices define our life. A bad choice this moment does not have to define what happens next but it does play into possible outcomes. Today the choice I am not happy about is the choice to eat pizza rolls. </div><div><br></div><div>The choice I made today was an individual choice and only touches me, but was it really? If this choice affects my health it could touch those around me. My mood, my function my overall health is something that touches those close to me. I know for me I need to consider how my choices touch myself and/or others. </div><div><br></div><div>I don't want to judge my choices or choices made by others. For myself I want to look at my choices and try to make sure they fit my goals and desires. For others I remind myself that they have stories and things going on I know nothing about. I believe we are all doing the best we can each moment with what we know and believe. All I have control.over are my choices, my actions and my reactions.</div><div><br></div><div>Wishing everyone the best, always.</div>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-13133316227532801852020-12-31T20:59:00.000-08:002020-12-31T20:59:37.379-08:00Welcome 2021<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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</div><div>Goodbye 2020 and Welcome 2021.</div><div><br></div><div>2020 has been a crazy year and I learned a lot. I have some new dreams and goals that I would not have had if things has been different. </div><div><br></div><div>I want to really work on my personal goals and to start to fulfill some personal desires this year. All it really takes is for me to make the choices to make sure it starts happening.</div><div> </div><div>Each moment of each day I have the power to make choices that will help me build my dreams and fulfill my desires.</div><div><br></div><div>Wishing everyone the best, always.</div>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-8364962025048642942020-06-08T10:36:00.001-07:002020-06-08T10:40:02.309-07:00Government Change is needed<p dir="ltr">I feel like our government officials are completely ineffective. Both main parties only seem to care about beating the other party no matter what the cost. Government officials and public people on each side have zero respect for each other based on the party they belong to.</p>
<p dir="ltr">In my mind if your objective is just to prove the other side wrong I feel like I don't want to listen. I have always voted across party lines and find truths on both sides. I have been wrong but I have always tried to follow a path that feels like it is for the greater good of the most. As soon as the language turns to be about how stupid, ignorant, thoughtless, evil the other side is in a broad stroke applied to all those that identify as being part of that party....I stop listening.</p><p dir="ltr">I want to hear how the folks we trust to run our country and represent our greater good are planning on doing that. I can see what is or is not happening. I dont need a run down of those items I want to hear how the candidates will make things better.</p><p dir="ltr">It is not just the candidates it is also the public. Maybe social media helps propagate the problem but everyone seems to have heir feelings and opinions and if you disagree you are evil, stupid and not worth the time to have a productive conversation. I would like to be able to have a civil conversation and dialog to learn other people's thoughts, truths and opinions to see if there are things in my thinking that could and should change but if my comments and questions are met with name calling and defaming criticism I shut down and don't want to even try. </p><p dir="ltr">#MyOpinion </p>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-91550189175915998232020-04-04T11:40:00.001-07:002020-04-04T11:40:27.930-07:00Quarentine for changeI have been on a journey for a few years now to change how I think so that I can change how I feel so that I can get the most out of my life every single day.<br />
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I have been struggling at times because of overwhelming feelings of things that need to get done at work, things that need to get done at home, being socially available for family and friends while appreciating each day and every moment.<br />
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Now we are in unprecedented times where so many folks are struggling in fear and/or sick. Either people or sick with this virus or sick with whatever they were fighting before the virus hit or in fear of losing everything with the changes that have been occurring in our daily lives.<br />
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I have also have been struggling to focus and let the overwhelming feelings go and just tackle things little by little. I have been wanting to outline my journey in my blog and work towards positive change but that too has been overwhelming for me.<br />
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I have dreams and desires that I have not been able to obtain because my own thoughts and inaction are in my own way. <br />
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I have a friend that inspires me but also if I let it can confirm my inadequate feelings for myself. But I am making the choice to look at her and be inspired by her and learn from her. She shared her daily process and although I have heard things like this over and over again as I have been working on my own stuff hearing it and reading it from someone I know and am inspired by has a bit more meaning to it; or maybe I am just ready to hear and react differently to it.<br />
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She said:<i> I make the decision every day to be grateful; I choose to see the good. I workout; eat my protein; have my spark and vitamins; get dressed in jeans....NO PJ's!!! Work my day at home as required. Take a daily walk and then PJ's and me time. I don't think I just do!!</i><br />
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<i>Make a list of all the things you can do at home and in the yard....It feels GOOD to get sh$% done!!</i><br />
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I could not agree more. I need to make the choice to make it happen; turn off the TV and move forward every day!!<br />
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<i>Stay safe and healthy.</i><br />
Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-53986965408049935732020-03-21T18:55:00.000-07:002020-03-21T18:55:07.785-07:00Choices....<br />
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I enjoy professional sports, movies and music as much as the next person but I think a lesson in all this is that the real celebrities are the every day folks that support us in our daily lives including in no particular order and not limited to; nurses, doctors, custodians, service workers, delivery drivers, cashiers, teachers , care providers, first responders and anyone you see during your day doing their job. </div>
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Each day we rely on different people for different things and each is to be respected and honored for what they do. </div>
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We can choose to honor and respect ourselves and treat each other as the important and deserving people we are or we can continue to judge and criticize anyone that is not like us and/or believes in something other than what we believe. </div>
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I think we have an opportunity here to change the direction of our lives and start to live for different priorities if we choose. </div>
<br />Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-54727483430602345902019-06-02T22:27:00.000-07:002019-06-17T20:22:51.163-07:00Those we love<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #454545; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-style: italic; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">Those we love don't go away, </span><br>
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They walk beside us every day, </span><br>
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Unseen, unheard, but always near, </span><br>
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Still loved, still missed and very dear. </i><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #545454; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20.52px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">(author unknown).</span></span><br>
<span style="color: #004000; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #454545; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #545454; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20.52px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><br></span></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #454545; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #545454; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20.52px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Today is the 50th birthday of a very special person in my life. But instead of celebrating that birthday with him we celebrate his life because he is gone. He left us at the age of 43 and he is missed everyday. I feel like today is a very blessed and special day because this is the day we were given a gift. He was here for such a short time but he taught many of us so much about life just by being himself. He loved life and his family with his entire being. He worked hard to provide for his family but he played hard as well; living life to the fullest.</span></span><br>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #454545; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #545454; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20.52px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><br></span></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #454545; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #545454; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20.52px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">I feel like he left us so early in his life because his soul had learned what it needed to in this lifetime. His soul was ready to move to its next lesson and that one needed to be explored and learned in a different environment. I feel like since he has left us I am learning more and more from this experience each day. I appreciate life more each day and I look for my purpose more each day. I am more aware of things that I feel gratitude for and appreciate each little moment that I hold on to because life is sometimes very fleeting and we never know when it can be turned upside down.</span></span><br>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #454545; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #545454; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20.52px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;"><br></span></span>
<span style="background-color: transparent; color: #454545; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "helvetica" , "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 16px; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: center; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="background-color: transparent; color: #545454; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "arial" , sans-serif; font-size: 13.33px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; line-height: 20.52px; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px; word-wrap: break-word;">Love with your entire being; be kind to those around you as you don't know their story and what they are going through. Appreciate all that life gives you as each moment and each experience is a lesson and a gift. </span></span>Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-81014593382024743432019-05-29T22:23:00.007-07:002019-05-29T22:23:52.710-07:00Love is....<div style="text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love is the only truth...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love is sweet and nice...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Treat us right and we'll love you...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Live and love always...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">I'll love you if you love me...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love your number 1...</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif;">Love yourself as you are right now!!</span></div>
Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-27197009642041868642019-02-08T18:40:00.000-08:002019-02-08T18:40:53.027-08:00My TruthWhen I was 18 years old I had an abortion.<br />
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There I said it; it is out there and I am ok!!<br />
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Having an abortion is not something I am proud of; actually it has brought me a lot of shame and guilt over the years. But what I have come to accept slowly over the last couple of years was that I was doing the best that I could with what I had and what I believed at the time and that brings me peace of mind.<br />
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I know and accept that there are people in my life right now that would be shocked and disappointed maybe even want to disengage from me if/when they find out; and I am ok with that. If it happens it is meant to be. I also know that my mom would be heartbroken if she found out. She would be sad, mad and guilt ridden knowing that I did not feel safe enough to come to her. At this point in her life and in mine I do not feel the need to tell her. I know more about myself and her now that I know we would have worked through it; but at the time I could not see it; I was emerged in fear and felt more alone than I can even explain.<br />
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<span style="background-color: transparent; color: black; display: inline; float: none; font-family: "times new roman"; font-size: 16px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">In the following couple of years I distended myself from those that knew about it. It was not spoken about I just knew they knew and my shame was too great for me to be me. Many of those people are still friends with each other now; I miss those relationships. I don't know for a fact that they judged me but I judged myself and that is all that mattered. </span><br />
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Although I feel shame, remorse and regret for the decision I made when I was a young 18 year old; I still believe in the right to choose. In my case it was not only a choice I made it was one I made with full suggestion and support of the father, the father's mother and sister. Their wishes are what likely pushed me to make my choice. I emphasize my choice because I take full responsibility for that and hope that they do for their own choices. For me I believe that if I had not had that option at that time I would have taken other drastic measures. I did it early and suffered much hurt from it; but I was still alive and I am not sure how I would have survived otherwise given my state of mind at the time.<br />
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I believe if we take away the right to choose we will lose beautiful souls that are here now; learning and living today. We need to work better at spreading love and support to all people to know that they are not alone; that they have other options that they can survive from and be safe with. Taking away the choice just pins those faced with this against the wall instead of helping them feel safe and in control of their own destiny. If I had been taught that I would survive this and be "safe"; not lose the love of my parents; I may have made a different decision. I believe helping our children learn to love themselves enough to know they are in control of their lives will help them and less will make the choice that I made; naturally things will shift and love will spread instead of fear.<br />
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My Truth!!Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-61047200322238218362019-01-03T22:22:00.001-08:002019-01-03T22:22:21.248-08:00Today's outlook<p dir="ltr">My outlook for myself today...</p>
<p dir="ltr">The challenges I face today offer growth for tomorrow and my future. I thank them for bringing me what I need when I need it. I am enough and I am safe. </p>
<p dir="ltr">....Each day is a choice. Choose wisely.</p>
Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-62236759313626448052018-04-14T10:04:00.002-07:002018-04-14T10:04:38.575-07:00It is just a thought....Each and every day we have thoughts and feelings that define how our day will progress. <br />
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A person can wake up in the morning and "know" it is going to be a bad day. <br />
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How do they "know" such a thing? <br />
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Generally it is because they have a feeling about what the day will be like.<br />
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These feelings about a day, experience, situation, or even a person are compilations of our thoughts. <br />
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We choose what our thoughts are about the day, experience, situation or even a person.<br />
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To "feel" better about the day, experience, situation or even a person we have to recognize and then choose to change the thought that is giving us the "bad" feeling.<br />
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Most of the time we do not realize that we made a choice regarding the thoughts that we have had. We have to become aware of thoughts that we have when we feel bad so that we can change that thought.<br />
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We have the power to feel better; we just have to choose to change the thoughts that we do not like.<br />
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Changing our own truths is as "simple" as changing our thoughts. <br />
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It is a process and takes time and effort but the reward is worth it and beyond expectation.<br />
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<span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; background-color: transparent; color: #1d2129; display: inline !important; float: none; font-family: Helvetica,Arial,sans-serif; font-size: 14px; font-style: normal; font-variant: normal; font-weight: 400; letter-spacing: normal; orphans: 2; text-align: left; text-decoration: none; text-indent: 0px; text-transform: none; white-space: normal; word-spacing: 0px;">It's only a thought, and a thought can be changed</span> -- Louise HayKyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-1085498300513892052018-04-13T11:48:00.001-07:002018-04-13T11:48:09.686-07:00What I believe....For as long as I can remember I have felt the need to prove to others that I am worthy of their friendship and love. <br />
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In relationships I felt that it would end at anytime. That other friends would be more fun or other females would be more attractive and exciting.<br />
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I believe that I created my own self fulfilling prophesy. I believed I was not good enough so I made it true. Even if the other person did everything in their power to convince me their feelings were true; my belief in myself was stronger so of course they did not truly feel that way. They could never convince me otherwise. Those that did not treat me well just confirmed my own thoughts the good ones never had a chance.<br />
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We have all heard the glass half empty or the glass half full; it all depends on what you believe. It is the same when thinking thoughts about ones self. I had to choose to think about myself differently to change the negative thoughts and believe in myself.<br />
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If I believe I am a worthy good person others can believe it too. My power is in my present moment.<br />
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It is amazing the difference I have felt within by just taking my negative thought pattern and changing it to a positive one.Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-74484417961781361622018-04-12T16:44:00.003-07:002018-04-12T16:45:28.866-07:00The need for positivityThe state of everything seems sad and dire if you listen and react to the news on a day to day basis as what is generally reported is done in a negative and dire way.<br />
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It was a daily thing for me to listen to the morning news to start my day. Most days it would leave me sad, scared, mad or stressed about something I heard.<br />
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At some point I realized that these feelings did not help me start my day in a positive uplifting light. I decided I had to either choose a different reaction to what I heard and saw on the news or I had to choose a different way of starting my day.<br />
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Now I sit and decide what positive thought will be my focus of the day. Some days are more difficult then others; some days it is taking my first negative thought of the day and changing it to a positive.<br />
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For instance..."it is a nasty grey and rainy day" becomes..."I see the sparkle in today's rain; I feel the freshness in today's wind; I see the beauty in today's grey sky. I feel warmth and brightness in my heart. I greet everyone with a smile. Today will be a great day!!"<br />
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<br />Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-90080175522355082092014-12-28T23:37:00.001-08:002014-12-28T23:37:11.988-08:00Cancer is here...When I set out to do my first Susan G Komen three day walk I did it not knowing anyone personally going through the breast cancer fight. In November my younger sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. She has been diagnosed with Metaplastic Carcinoma a rare and aggressive type of breast cancer. Metaplastic makes up about 1% of all breast cancer diagnosis.<br />
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From the moment she told me her diagnosis I have felt very strongly that she will beat this. There are moments off doubt, of being scared that I am fooling myself but just moments.<br />
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This being an aggressive fast growing cancer that not only tends to grow back in the same location but also spread to different areas of the body she will undergo the full array of treatments. First she will have surgery then chemo and finally a chemo and radiation combination treatment.<br />
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Tomorrow is step one in her fight, the lumpectomy to remove the growing tumor. Then we wait a week to get the pathology report to find out if the cancer has spread and find out the full treatment plan. <br />
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We know for sure that the next year will be a long and hard one for her and all of us but I pray that it will be a one and done; that she will fight with all of her family along side her and heal to celebrate being cancer free next year.Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-91127042607794443302014-02-24T12:10:00.001-08:002014-02-24T12:10:12.271-08:00Barely holding on....
I am not sure what that really means...except that I feel like I may just
fall apart at any moment. I am unhappy, lonely and otherwise very emotional. It
really sucks bad. It is not like I would ever do anything harmful to myself and anyone
else...other than overeat and some other self-destruction behaviors such as
that...I have been trying to do positive things for myself but it is a struggle
for sure.<o:p></o:p><br />
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I have a doctor’s appointment tomorrow and I made a dermatology appointment
today for next week since I know my doctor will be on me for that.<o:p></o:p><br />
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I have been looking at counseling. So excited to try that again….NOT.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>BUT something has to give feeling like I do
and eating like I do is not good. I exercise and try to be fit but I am obviously
not doing enough.<o:p></o:p><br />
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I feel so very lonely and I can NOT talk to anyone because whoever I talk to
will take something personally and I already don’t feel like I have any real
friends.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>I know my fiancé loves me but
he doesn’t get it either and if I talk to him he just tries to solve an
immediate problem not a long term issue.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;">
</span>I avoid people because I can’t handle their problems right now and it
feels like everyone has problems.<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><o:p></o:p><br />
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Whatever this is it totally sucks and it feels so very awful, lonely and
like it will never go away.<o:p></o:p><br />
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Right now every action, ever word, every day is a struggle and I really hate
it because there is no good reason for it.<br />
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I don't blame everyone for not wanting to deal with me...I don't want to deal with me.<br />
Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-15561488314529170012014-02-09T09:02:00.002-08:002014-02-09T09:02:49.947-08:00Life is too shortToday is day 9 on the challenge and in those 9 days there were two rest days. I did not rest on the days specified but that doesn't matter it just matters that I have followed 9 day thus far. So good for me!!<br />
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I read an article yesterday that I could totally relate to - Life is Too Short: 10 Things Not Worth Tolerating <a href="http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pressure-proof/201210/life-is-too-short-10-things-not-worth-tolerating">http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/pressure-proof/201210/life-is-too-short-10-things-not-worth-tolerating</a><br />
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I found this very interesting and something I want to work on more for myself because I have issues with most of these things.....<br />
1 - Being Unhealthy - this point deals with the things that we can control not those health issues that we can't control. We can all control how much we eat, what we eat and whether or no we try to be active. This is one I have been working on and have worked on in the past. My problem with this one is that I get complacent and stop paying attention to what I do.<br />
2 - Inaction - facing things that I fear or feel guilty about. I have to take a look to really see why I do or do not do anything and figure out if my inaction is justified or something I need to push through. I have really been working on this one the last year and 1/2. It is not easy pushing yourself out of your comfort zone but that is what I am doing all the time.<br />
3 - Negativity - this is one that I really place on myself more than anything else. I judge myself in ways I would NEVER judge anyone else. It is really bad and I have done it all my life.<br />
4 - Disorganization - this one is tough I feel very disorganized all the time and I am working on it and making progress on it at work at least....work in progress.<br />
5 - Chronic stress - it all fits here. I stress EVERYTHING<br />
6 - Keeping up with the Joneses - This is not so much of my problem I know I can't do that sometimes it bothers me but mostly I look at what others have and don't understand how they can afford it.<br />
7 - Thinking that perfect exists - Yeah I expect perfect out of myself even though I know that it s not possible.<br />
8 - Everyone's opinion of you - this is another one that has been a problem all my life. I read into everything and right now I don't think that most people even like me. I don't my two boys love me and my parents love me beyond that I just feel alone and not liked.<br />
9 - A job you hate - I don't hate my job but I don't love it either. They way I feel about my job is better than it was a year ago so that is good.<br />
10 - Being financially illiterate - I could be worse in this areas but I was several years ago. I am getting better its a fight to get there.<br />
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These are all very good points and things I need to work on. Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-20485271516002875742014-02-04T20:54:00.002-08:002014-02-04T20:54:37.301-08:00Day 4Based on the 30-day an challenge today was a day off but since day 2 was the totally awesome Seattle Seahawk Super bowl I had a bit too much of a party so I took yesterday off.<br />
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On Sunday I completed day 2 of the challenge and burned 1000 calories on the treadmill- I accomplished my goal that day!! Today I completed day 3 of the challenge and burned 500 calories on the treadmill.<br />
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I just have to keep the momentum going.<br />
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One day at a time......Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-79577621298272096852014-02-01T22:04:00.000-08:002014-02-01T22:04:13.134-08:00Day 1 of the rest of my lifeCan I make myself accountable? can I push myself to my limits? Can I accomplish again what I did before and then keep it?<br />
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3 1/2 years ago I was in the best shape of my life....then we bought the house. I put myself into a position that although is better then the one before is very much like it also. I have man that treats me well, is responsible and I truly believes loves me....but I also believe he has an alcohol problem that he is able to control but someday he wont.<br />
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So familiar behaviors of my own started creeping back....I have gained all the weight that I had lost back in these 3 1/2 years. <br />
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Now its time to take back my life...once again and this time keep it. This time I am staying here with this man that I love. Is it the situation I had hoped for...no not really but he is a good man and I know that he loves me and my son. I have been able to separate myself from his behavior for the most part....like a person with an addiction that is always a struggle and work in progress...but I do have to work harder at now taking care and control of myself.<br />
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I have walked 60 miles for breast cancer, I have participated in 5ks and 5ks with obstacles...now I need to work on the day to day progress to take the weight back off and live a life that does not put me back into this situation.<br />
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I will walk 60 miles again this year and I will do at least 4 different 5ks...and likely more.<br />
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Today I did at least 10 minutes and I completed day one of the 30 day abs challenge......tomorrow is another day...and super bowl Sunday. The challenge of the day....burn 1000 calories on the treadmill, complete day 2 of the ab challenge, and do not eat a bunch of junk at the super bowl party.. GO HAWKS!!!Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-19709794.post-53949468600133443662013-09-12T12:24:00.001-07:002013-09-12T12:24:32.950-07:008 days....And then it starts. I am more nervous about the total social aspect of all this. I am sure I will cry a lot. I don't know anyone that has breast cancer....I have known a couple of people that had it, had treatment and surgery but no one that has it or has died from it. <br />
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Here I am going to try and do something positive and something positive for myself as well. Getting out there and totally doing something by myself. <br />
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I earned all of the money I needed with donations and sales....mostly sales. My mom was surprised that I did not get more donations from our family and some of my friends..I am not...for several different reasons. There is a reason I was looking for other ways to earn the money...my ability to inspire people for something is not very high.<br />
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I have been down on myself again....I can't keep a clean house...and I get angry because no one else in the house seems to care and/or help...why should I care...If I do it there isnt anyone to appreciate it and I am just so tired and worn out it really doesn't do anything for me either....<br />
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I keep looking for something to tell me why I am on this earth...I will keep looking and searching with my mind open to find what all of this is supposed to be about...all I see is a bunch of people wanting to spew their adgenda and their version of the truth and condem others for their version of the truth. <br />
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Can't we all just get along and not "hate" others so much, agree to disagree....I say this as we look to get into another war with a country that is just destroying themselves from the inside out. Sad...it is all very sad.Kyleehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01909739435547096628noreply@blogger.com0